10 – This game isn’t actually great. We took a backhanded deal under the table. Probably in exchange for some advertising space or massive product placement that involved a lot of money and getting our quote on the front of the box.

9 – A pretty decent game, but there’s no way we can say it was better than Halo 3. We’d totally mess up Metacritic otherwise.

8 – Same as 10, but it’s got some form of unpopular DRM that our readers don’t like, and so to save face we’ve had to knock points off the score and face removal from the developers Christmas lists this year.

7 – Crap. This game will make you wish you’d never purchased it. Futhermore it will go on to make you infertile and cause some form of incurable terminal illness in your children and loved ones. Avoid.

6 – The above, written by someone who doesn’t know what they’re talking about because they didn’t review Modern Warfare 2.

5, 4, 3, 2 – There are no scores lower than six. These scores, like the caveat of needing to play a game to have an opinion on it and the concept of someone having genuine, honest reasons to think the way they do about a game are entirely fictional.

1 – It’s a casual game and thus does not matter.

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