Taaaake. Meeeee. Hoooommmee!

I don’t drive, and I have yet to take any lessons, but I feel if anyone saw me playing Burnout Paradise this week, I fear they wouldn’t let me behind the wheel of a milk float, never mind anything with any horsepower to it. I can’t help it, I just seem to be magnetically drawn to the nearest ramp, fence, billboard or indeed fellow motorists with the desire to drive – and indeed crash – as recklessly as possible. Criterion Games, bless ‘em, have managed to turn me into a vehicular homicidal maniac. But with good cause. The Burnout series has been a long standing tradition on the consoles, throwing away most of the things that realistic racing fans have come to expect and replacing them with a massive tank full of fun and outlandish improbability.